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November 16, 2007
Traffic jam
I needed a haircut yesterday but I wanted to squeeze in my run before it got too dark, so I went straight to the park after work to knock it out. Afterwards, I made the mistake of going home to shower and change out of my sweaty clothes before going to the barber. When I got back on the road there was gridlock all the way to the barbershop for no apparent reason. If I had to guess, I'd say the distance is roughly a half mile, but it took thirty minutes to drive there in my car and when I arrived my barber had gone home. I refuse to allow substitutes to cut my hair, I've found the right one for me (loyal customer) so I left, pissed off.
Next door is my favorite store, the grocery store, so I decided not to make it a wasted trip and I went in. The entrance to the store was bottlenecked with customers and Christmas displays and food sampling tables and I had to stop walking until a path cleared, so I was already road raging from earlier and frustrated about missing my barber and now the blocked path situation was tipping me over the edge. I was way overfrustrated and I was cursing the other shoppers in my head, get the F out of my way you Fn Fers, etc., then a guy my age or so went by with his son and the kid was rushing around in the frenzy and the dad said take your time son, relax. I thought, wow that guy has got his shit together and he's right about relaxing so I took a breath myself and slowed my roll for a minute and released the road rage. Then I noticed Christmas music, and then it sounded like a real piano, and then I saw that it was a real piano in the grocery store with a real guy playing. There were food sample tables everywhere (which I do not visit for fear of poop spray or lord knows what else that might be in the free public food. This is one of the nice life lessons I've taken from living in the city, the stories you hear...) and Christmas decorations were up. A little early I thought, not even Thanksgiving yet, but I embraced it, purchasing a new Pumpkin Pie scented candle, my new Christmas thing.
My friends were at my corner bar and they wanted me to meet them, so I stopped by for a minute to be social. I was not drinking, which made me the automatic subject of much ridicule, but when I announced that I had to go home because The Office was coming on tv and it was the last one... you would not want to be me in that situation. Old man doesn't drink old man has to go home to watch The Office old man old man blah blah blah. Then they even took pity on me and said don't worry they'll get there too someday which only made it worse.
Posted by K